Empty Room

I've just finished the task I really hate most about travelling and moving on and that's packing up. It's really not so much the actual physical effort involved (which of course is no great pleasure) but something else. I think it relates to the fact that my worldly belongings are so dispensable and reading through old cards / presents / photos to decide which ones are more or less important to me and hence the latter are filed under 'b' with a certain amount of hesitation. It's also quite sad stripping an apartment of all of your own fixtures and memories to leave it bare again - after all this was home. Looking around now - it's clearly not mine anymore and I feel an irrational sense of loss for that.

Many people have often expressed a desire to live the kind of life I live but in reality it really isn't all a bed of roses. It involves a lot of disassociation from continuity although it has mostly positive benefits for me (convincing myself here!) and sometimes feelings of regret and self analysis. On this occassion, I'm actually returning somewhere where I found a 'significant other'. That is really very scarey because for me 1 has never been a lonely number. He's cute, smart and I have great arguments with him (I said arguments!).

The disagreements are mostly about my lifestyle and the fact that I do mostly what I want to do because as an individual I believe that to be my inalienable right. That could be seen as being wholly selfish but I have never promised anything to anybody about what I know I can't do or respect. Alternatively, I've almost always (and of course there are exceptions due to human flaws) delivered on promises I genuinely believe I can fulfil.

What am I talking about? Not entirely sure - but just putting my thoughts into writing before I leave this 'empty room' tommorrow. There really is nothing like an 'empty room' to clarify one's importance in the world.

The 'empty room' will soon host another's life and more than that it will probaby be around a lot longer than it's current or future occupants in the big scheme of things.

'Empty room' - here's to you and all who inhabit you! Thanks for the ride........