Life.........

Sometimes life in general gets me down for no real
logical reason. I've had this problem since my teens
really - the easiest way I can explain it is with
reference to being engulfed in a dark cloud. I know
when it's happening to me and am almost powerless
(I say 'almost' because over the years I have
developed certain mechanisms to combat it - or
at least deal with it) to do anything about it.

It's even more strange because to the outside
world I am probably one of the happiest and most
confident people you are likely to meet. However,
deep inside lurks this 'thing' that happens rarely
now but still has the ability to take hold.

Only a few close family members and one very close
friend are aware of it because I feel ashamed. Anyway,
that's the reason I haven't blogged for a few days. Even
today, I couldn't think of anything to say so I decided
to say how I feel - and cut all the bravado of my online/
offline life. Even writing this makes me feel guilty / bad/
wrong etc etc........................

So there it is - I'm a part-time depressive I guess.

I'll be OK in a few days I know - I feel very fortunate
for that because some people have to live with this feeling
24/7. My cloud is lifting - I pray for those who aren't so
lucky.